The decision to emigrate or relocate is not taken easily, and the responsibility is much greater when you have children. Parents must consider their children when making this life-changing decision. Children become extremely attached to their physical environment. Their home is usually their safe place where they have a fixed routine and are most comfortable. Emigration or relocation can drastically affect their sense of security. Be aware of this and discuss the change in advance with your children.
Adults realise that relocation does not necessarily put an end to communication with friends and family. One can still communicate with your loved ones via the internet, even on different continents. Children, however, do not necessarily have this reassurance. Depending on their age, the loss of friends can have a huge impact. Be sensitive to this and reassure them that they can maintain contact with their friends and also make new friends.
Tips to make relocation easier
1. Include your children in the decision-making process
Moving is a big change, and it affects your children too. They sometimes feel as if they have no control over their lives. Talk to them about the decision to move and explain to them why you are considering it. Also, include them in planning and other aspects of the move to stay up to date with everything. This will make them feel less uncertain about the period of major changes.
2. Make it as easy as possible
Emigration is accompanied by giving up items that are special to your children. Because shipping furniture and personal belongings is so expensive, it is often cheaper to simply sell most of your household items and buy others at the new destination. However, to make the change as easy as possible for your children, allowing them to take some of their special items with them is a good idea. It can make the change feel less drastic and make their new home appear more familiar.
If you relocate in South Africa, you can at least keep your personal belongings, but it’s still important to stick to a familiar routine and make sure your family spends time together.
3. Set a good example
Children are very aware of their parents’ emotions. If you are constantly tense, they will feel the same way. Set a good example – be positive about the change and try to make them excited about it.
4. Be aware of their needs
Depending on their age, your children need different ways of reassurance. Studies have found that teenagers find it much harder than younger children to adapt to a new country.
Here are tips on approaching children of different ages.
Toddlers and pre-schoolers
Studies have found that children under the age of six are the easiest to relocate as they do not experience the change as drastically as older children. However, it is still important to explain the change to them. Try to make their new environment as familiar to them as possible by putting the same furniture in their rooms and maintaining their routine.
School-going children
To relocate or emigrate is easier for primary school children than for teenagers. Some experts think it is good to plan your move so they can start a new school year at their new home and meet new friends immediately. Also, for this age group, you must recreate a somewhat familiar environment. Prepare their favourite meals in your new home and help them stay in touch with their friends and family to facilitate the transition period.
Teenagers
It is common for teens to rebel against relocation. Your teenager probably has an established circle of friends and a social life that will change completely when they move. For this reason, it is important to know your children in the decision and include them in the process. Also, reassure them about the different ways to stay in touch with people who are important to them.
Make it possible for your teenager to visit his/her friends again after a while, especially if you emigrate. The prospect of such an adventure will also calm their mood.
Whether you move or emigrate, it will affect your children. But if you as a family can talk honestly about everyone’s fears and what you are looking forward to, it will form a good basis for follow-up conversations when your children are experiencing challenges.
