Hallo granny’s little one! You’ve grown so much. Can you hear me? Oh no, I can’t hear you!”
These are only a few of the frustrations grandmothers experience when they communicate with their grandchildren living far away. New technology comes with its own problems, but a lot of grandmothers make a lot of effort to shorten the long distances between them and their grandchildren.
How do you form or keep a relationship with your grandchildren when they live far away?
Ans Pelser, living in Parys, has her grandchildren scattered all across the world and they live in Cape Town, Dubai, Pretoria and Korea. She prefers personal contact but also knows that circumstances don’t always allow for that. “It is very difficult but you try and keep as much contact as possible; we phone and WhatsApp each other. I also enjoy the photos they load on Facebook.” It is important to Ans that her grandchildren live their own lives, but she says that they must always know that she is interested in their lives. “If they see you make an effort, then they too will make an effort.”
Margaretha Kruger from Pretoria has two grandchildren living in Australia. She makes an extra effort on special occasions such as birthdays and Christmas. “It is extremely difficult when they are so far away, but I send gifts long before the time.” She is also thankful for today’s technology and says that her children often send her cute videos of her grandchildren. “I saw how my grandson crawled for the first time and I can watch it over and over again.”
Another grandmother who has a grandchild in New Zealand often sends Afrikaans books and children series for her granddaughter. “I always write the date and a message in the books that I send. Hopefully it is something she will appreciate when she is a little bit older.”
Maroela Media also thought of a few ideas to maintain a good relationship with grandchildren living far away:
- Set a weekly day and time to speak to your grandchild over the phone. Try to keep to this day and time as close as possible so that it can become a habit.
- Try to keep up with technology such as Skype. Sometimes it can be a bit challenging, but in the long run it is definitely worth the frustration. Skype allows you to speak to your grandchild face-to-face.
- If your grandchildren are teenagers, make an effort to learn about their communication methods. Today’s teenagers use WhatsApp, Facebook, and Instagram. It gives you access to photos and videos – a very nice way to be part of their daily lives.
- If you like to send gifts often, give it a personal touch so that they will always think of you when they see the gift: Make a photo album of your family and write a short description underneath each photo. Or send something that you have made yourself – a jersey, blanket or a painting.
- Be creative with special occasions: Take a video where you and granddad show your grandson how to dance when it is matric farewell time. Or send a voice recording singing “Happy Birthday”; it is something they can keep forever.
- You can also set up an e-mail address if your grandchildren are still very small. Send letters and photos to this address and give them the password once they are old enough.
- There is definitely nothing better than holding your grandchild tightly – try to visit them at least once a year. If you can, plan the visit to take place close to an event like a birthday; it makes the event so much more special.
