In Out and about, we talk to people who currently live abroad or have lived and worked there and are back in South Africa. We would like to hear from anyone who wants to share their experiences. This week, we talked to Carlien van Aardt Kotzé, who lives in the Netherlands.
Hello, Carlien. Where in South Africa are you from, and why did you move to the Netherlands?
I grew up on a farm near Oranjeville in the Free State, but after my husband and I met in Potchefstroom, we lived in Middelburg, Mpumalanga, for almost 12 years. A recruiting agency from the Netherlands, specifically hiring South African engineers, contacted my husband in January 2022. Emigration was not on our radar at all, and I never felt the need to go live overseas, but when you are being overlooked for the umpteenth time for a promotion, it’s easier to consider an offer like that.
Tell us more about your family.
My husband Fritz and I are both 38. He is a mechanical engineer and I am a high school teacher. We have two boys, Friedrich (7) and Richan (2). We love family outings, whether to a zoo or a museum. We want to fill our children’s lives with experiences. Luckily, we live close to the sea, so it’s easy to go to the beach for two or three hours a day.
Adapting to a new country can be challenging. What was the strangest thing for you to get used to abroad?
I didn’t realise that our culture differs that much from the Dutch culture. It isn’t easy to get used to the language. We easily understand them, but they find it difficult to understand us. Everything is different – the plants, the birds, even the bugs. Shopping is different because their products differ from ours, so finding alternatives to what you are used to and familiar with is quite a struggle. After a year here, I have learned a lot and the adjustment is getting easier. The best way I can describe it is to say that you feel like a Martian on Earth.
What does your Afrikaner heritage mean to you? What traditions do you and your family keep alive abroad?
Many people who do not emigrate think we left the country because we don’t like South Africa. That is not true, but if your country makes it difficult for you to survive, you focus on what is important to you and your family. We didn’t just want to survive but LIVE. I feel prouder to be an Afrikaner since we live here. I think my language, food, culture and manners are better. I still struggle to sing “Nkosi Sikelel’ iAfrika” without trembling lips. Your heart burns with longing for South Africa.
When we have a birthday party, we first sing the Afrikaans “Veels geluk liewe maatjie” and then the Dutch “Lank zal hij lewe”. We often braai with a group of South Africans and then listen to Bok, Appel and Jo Black. Some time ago, my son’s school asked me to present an Afrikaans lesson at their school. I was so proud, and the children were very receptive and wanted to learn more about our country and culture.
How did you experience the emigration process to the Netherlands?
Since a staffing agency approached us, they drove and organised most of the process. So, to us, the emigration process was relatively easy. There were a few obstacles, like long queues at Home Affairs for passports and documents that had to be certified by the Supreme Court, but luckily, there are agencies that help you with this. The staffing agency that brought us over went out of its way to help us find accommodation, open bank accounts and get mobile phone contracts. You get the feeling that they really think that you will add value to their country by coming to live here.
Do you still speak Afrikaans to each other? What South African traditions do you teach your children? What Afrikaans tools do you use?
We still speak Afrikaans at home and among our Afrikaans friends here. We are a group of five South African families in our village who visit often.
In May this year was the first Afrikaans church service and this weekend, we will braai, watch rugby and have a Boeresports day with our faith family. The school also encourages us to speak Afrikaans to our children so that they can build a strong language foundation. We don’t want to become Dutch; we want to be Afrikaners living in the Netherlands. Fortunately, I brought my Kook en Geniet from South Africa. I had to learn to bake rusks and make vetkoek dough.
Are there any South African businesses (shops, restaurants, services) nearby that you would like to support?
Here are some South African shops. Our nearest shop is Kuier Kos in Bloemendaal, so when the craving for biltong, koeksisters and Oros overcome us, they come to our rescue. A well-known supermarket here, Lidl, regularly has an “African week” and then they sell Mrs. Ball’s chutney, Ceres fruit juice and malva pudding, but you have to get there quickly; there have been a few fist fights over a bottle of chutney.
Do you have any advice for someone who wants to emigrate?
Don’t underestimate the adjustment (and the European winter). When the initial honeymoon phase of living in a new country is over, you need a good support network – people who have been through emigration and can give you perspective and remind you of your initial reason for emigrating. A friend of ours, who has been living in Ireland for about four years, once said, “An accent is a sign of bravery.”
Would you like to share anything else with us?
Living in a country where the children can play hide and seek in the neighbourhood and the playgrounds are more popular than the shopping centres is nice. Children don’t walk around with cell phones but with smiles. Here, everyone is accepted, and the sanitation workers and lawyers are treated with the same amount of respect.
How do your children form or maintain a relationship with their grandparents? How often do you see each other as a family?
Fortunately, we can easily make a WhatsApp video call, but it is sometimes difficult to listen to a grandmother whose voice breaks when she talks to her grandchildren and cannot hug them. We visited South Africa over Christmas in December, and it was nice to see that it is so easy. My mother also came to visit us during the summer holidays. Technology has made the world very small.
Tell us something interesting about the Netherlands.
- The children do not walk barefoot and it’s the strangest thing for them when they see someone walking barefoot. I’ve been stopped a few times by someone asking worriedly, ‟Blote voete?” (‟Bare feet?”) Then I simply say, “Yes, it’s Africa feet.”
- The dogs don’t bark! The dogs are so well-behaved here. Seeing dogs in clothing stores, butcheries and supermarkets are not strange.
- There is no “charcoal” for sale in winter. Apparently, they only braai in summer.
Write to us
Do you live abroad or have recently returned from abroad? You can also write us an Out and About column. Send an email to wereldwyd@afriforum.co.za and we will send you questions to answer.
