Bullying is a global problem, and South Africa is certainly no exception. According to a Unesco report, nearly 250 million children and young people are bullied every year. Research shows that bullies are tormenting and manhandling certain children for various reasons. For example, they target different ethnic and cultural groups, such as Afrikaans children abroad, and those with a physical disability or a specific sexual or gender orientation.
Bullying is continuous, repeated, harmful or aggressive behaviour that is specifically aimed at a learner with less authority and self-confidence than that of the attacker. The Norwegian researcher Olweus identified the following three characteristics of bullying:
- It is aggressive actions with the intention of hurting other children.
- These actions are repeated over a period.
- An imbalance in power leaves the victim helpless so that he cannot defend himself effectively against aggressive behaviour.
The following five signs may indicate that your child is a victim of bullying:
- Unwillingness to go to school: If your child has always enjoyed going to school and suddenly no longer wants to go, it may indicate that he/she is being bullied at school. Do not get frustrated by his/her unwillingness to discuss it with you; rather talk to him/her about the reasons why he/she no longer wants to go to school. Parents must be patient when children are initially a bit nervous to tell them what is happening.
- Changing sleep habits: Studies revealed that 36% of children who are victims of bullying have sleep problems. Children who are bullied can sometimes experience parasomnia or have nightmares. Bullying can also provoke depression, which may lead to sleep disorders like insomnia or sleeping too much.
- Character changes: If a child used to be happy and accessible, but suddenly becomes moody, the parents should ask themselves why the child’s character changed. It may be the result of hormonal changes, especially in teenagers, but it may also be a sign that something or someone is hurting your child. Parents know their children best, so it is important that they take note of their children’s attitudes and moods.
- Avoiding old friends: Make sure that you know your child’s friends. Be on the lookout when he starts ignoring some of them or distances himself from children who previously were his friends.
- Declining school marks: If there is a decline in your child’s academic achievements, it may be because he is afraid of going to school for he is being bullied. The school then becomes an environment of fear and anxiety rather than a place of learning and enjoyment. This can adversely affect children because they lose interest in their schoolwork. Parents should keep an eye on their children’s marks and, if there is a decline, they should consider the possibility that it may be caused by bigger problems.
Here are some more warning signs of bullying:
- Inexplicable injuries such as bruises, cuts and scratches.
- Fear of going to school, of driving to school in the school bus, of walking to school, or of walking home after school.
- Excuses why they cannot go to school.
- Loss of appetite or a change in eating habits.
- Vandalised or lost school books, clothes or electronic devices.
- Regular complaints about a stomach ache, headache, nausea, or feeling sick.
Please download AfriForum’s anti-bullying guide for more information by clicking on the following link: https://www.afriforum.co.za/wp-content/uploads/Teenboeliegids_Digital.pdf; or send an email to leandie.brasler@afriforum.co.za and ask Leandie Bräsler to send it to you.
Leandie Bräsler: AfriForum: Coordinator for Leadership Development
